


Status Update

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Drinking, M/M, Morning After
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 05:29:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4007662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You really shouldn't go on social media while drunk.</p><p>Rick and Kieren made a post on facebook, which people actually took seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Status Update

**Author's Note:**

> Rick and Kieren are really close friends, but that's all they are: friends.
> 
> Idea came from a random fake relationship AU post I saw on my dash. It's not supposed to be a great fic - it was supposed to be fun and stupid. Turned out to be just stupid. Oh well, here it is.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

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Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

What the hell?

Rick had grabbed his phone, which he habitually left on silent, from the coffee table, wanting to check the time, but found himself frowning in confusion at the sheer volume of unread messages and six missed calls that had somehow accumulated overnight. Or in the last… when had he even gone to sleep? It was just after eleven. He looked around at the living room, and the state of it, trying to remember what had happened. The room didn’t seem as bad as it could be; there were a few (okay, a lot) of empty bottles of beer and cider, empty crisp wrappers, a plate of unfinished pizza, a good amount of popcorn on the floor, and several DVD cased that had obviously been knocked over. On the other seat, Kieren was still fast asleep, huddled under the blanket Rick had no doubt fetched for him at some point from the airing cupboard of his small flat. Rick looked back at his phone, and at the notification icons. Whatever this was about, it probably wasn’t going to help the headache steadily making its presence known, so dropped his phone back onto the table, next to his laptop, groaning as he lay back. He’d have to move soon.

Getting up sucked. Pushing himself up, Rick still felt a little drunk, and, unsteady on his feet, he ended up crashing into the corner of the coffee table, jarring the junk on it and no doubt bruising himself. He cursed under his breath, wondering what the table was doing in his way, and looked up as Kieren stirred. He sighed, hoping Kieren would fall back asleep, and continued to the kitchen to get a drink of water as quietly as he could. When he got back into the living room, Kieren was sitting up looking bleary-eyed, running his hands through his messy hair. Rick held out the glass he’d refilled in silent offering, which Kieren accepted.

“Paracetamol?” he asked. Kieren slowly nodded, so Rick went back to the kitchen and dug the tablets of the cupboard, pouring himself another glass and taking two pills. He tossed the pack at Kieren as he walked past, and then sat back down on the sofa, leaning forward and nudging a crisp packet, finding some cheese puffs still inside. He turned it away. There was nothing to do for a few moments but sit back and enjoy the silence, hearing only with the unobtrusive sound of Kieren draining his glass and then settling back with a sigh. Rick supposed he’d face his messages, and reached for his phone again, ignoring the list of missed calls.

He couldn’t understand the messages. There were a lot of ‘congratulations’, some along the lines of ‘I knew it!’, and a handful that were angry at him for keeping ‘it’ secret. Keeping what secret? Rick glanced up at Kieren, finding his friend looking down at his own phone, looking bemused and a little terrified.

“Uh, did I win the lottery or something?” Rick asked nervously. He was struggling to remember much past the second film they’d watched, and was pretty sure they wouldn’t have gone out anywhere – Kieren had come over for a few movies and some drinks, and they had plenty of food, so there was no reason to leave the flat. What could he have done? Kieren silently held his phone out to Rick, leaning forward across the space between them. Slowly, Rick moved, pushing out the seat enough to take it, turning the screen to see whatever Kieren was showing him.

Why had he done that?

Kieren’s phone was displaying his facebook news feed, and on it was a post Rick had made nine hours ago. There were far more comments and likes on it than he’d have ever thought there could be – did he even have that many friends? Rick looked at the post, more a banner really, which announced his engagement to Kieren. He had no memory of doing it. What the hell had he been thinking? That it was funny, probably, and that most people would know it was a joke – nearly everyone who knew him probably knew he didn’t date - and certainly not his best friend. But looking at the comments… he’d commented almost immediately on it. People had really believed it? He read his own comment:

_it probably isnt a big suprise to some people but Ren and I have been together for a while and are happy to announce our engagement. hes always been there for me and I cant imagine life without him. I love u Ren xx_

It was immediately followed by Kieren’s ‘ _I love you too <3_’ and then a whole host of messages, mostly congratulating them. Rick wasn’t sure if he should laugh or despair at the fact people had believed it. Or that he’d posted that. How drunk had he been? He looked for a long moment at Kieren’s comment, quickly deciding he was too hungover to work out how he felt about the whole thing.

“Uh, I suppose we should tell them it’s a joke,” Rick sighed, handing the phone back and reaching for his laptop. “People actually believed it.”

He managed to give a short laugh at that, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Kieren give a flicker of a smile as he drew his knees up and got comfortable again, looking down at his phone and swiping his hand across the screen, taking a screenshot. He seemed far more hungover than Rick felt. As he turned his focus to his laptop and typed in the password, Rick found his browser still open and logged in to Kieren’s facebook account. He signed out without touching anything.

“Your phone,” Kieren said tiredly. Rick looked up in question, and Kieren pointed next to Rick’s thigh, where his phone had lit up, indicating an incoming call. He picked it up warily.

“It my parents.”

Kieren gave snort of unamused laughter, closing his eyes. “Good luck.”

Rick supposed he should answer. Taking a deep breath, he raised the phone to his ear. “Hey,” he greeted. Relief flooded him when it was his mum’s voice that responded.

“Rick? Auntie June just called me. She said you and Kieren are together, that you got engaged last night. Why didn’t you say anything to me? I didn’t even know you were together.”

She didn’t sound angry, more… hurt? Rick couldn’t figure it out. “Oh, we’re not,” he said dismissively. “We just had a few last night, thought it would be funny. Didn’t realise people would actually take us seriously.”

“You’re not together?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

He couldn’t work out why she sounded disappointed. It threw him.

“Uh, look, mum, I need to go. I was just making some food.” It was a poor excuse, he knew, but she didn't call him out on it.

“Oh, of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you. Talk later?”

“Yeah, later. Can you make sure if dad finds out he knows it was done for a laugh? A dare or something.”

“Of course love.”

“Thanks mum.”

“Talk later. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

Rick dropped the phone as soon as he hung up, reaching forward and closing his laptop, forcing it to sleep.

“Idiots,” he muttered. Why didn’t people realise it had been a joke? He didn’t think it would matter if he left it for another hour or two. He looked back over at Kieren. “I think this is going to be funnier when I’m not so tired and hungover.”

Kieren made a noise that sounded like he was agreeing, but he barely moved. “I think I need to go to the bathroom,” he said weakly.

“Be my guest,” Rick said, noticing how much paler than normal Kieren looked. “Need anything?”

Kieren just picked up the empty glass and painkillers as he stood, showing them to Rick as a way of saying ‘no, thanks’. Rick let him go, and started tugging absently at a thread on his top as he watched the rhythmic pulse of the light on his laptop, wondering if anything from last night would come back to him. So far, nothing had. He really shouldn’t drink that much. Checking his phone again, there was another new notification, but he cleared it without reading it. He was more concerned with the time, and if he could get away with another two hours of sleep. He’d probably had five, at best.

Rick had intended to wait until Kieren came back through, but nearly ten minutes later when his friend hadn’t reappeared, Rick wondered what had happened to him. The flat was silent. Checking the time on his phone again, Rick got up to refill his glass, then padded down the corridor to the bathroom door. He hesitated, listening for a second, and then knocked.

“Ren?”

There was a pause before Kieren answered. “Still alive.”

Rick gave a small smile at the habitual response, remembering the incident it came from. They’d been younger then, but no less alcohol had been involved.

“You okay?”

“Just a bit sick.”

“Can I come in?”

“Uh, sure?”

When Rick pushed the door open, he was surprised to see Kieren sitting down close to the sink, rather than the toilet, with his knees drawn up and hands clenched in fists as he hugged his legs and staring at a spot on the floor. The glass of water had been refilled, and Rick set his own down next to it as he sat beside Kieren and leant against the wall, sensing that something more than just a bad hangover was bothering his friend.

“What’s up?” he asked softly, still wary of his own headache that wasn’t yet under control of the painkillers.

“Can we pretend we’re still drunk?”

The odd question made Rick pause. “How do you mean?”

“So I can say whatever I want and say it’s the alcohol talking, and you can pretend you have no memory of this conversation after it’s happened.”

“Um, yeah?”

“Please?”

“Of course, Ren. You can say whatever you like,” Rick assured Kieren, confused by Kieren’s mood. After a few moments of silence, he nudged Kieren incredibly gently – for both their sakes. “What’s up?”

Slowly, Kieren uncurled his fists, bringing his left hand to rest on his knee. Tied around his ring finger was a thread the same colour as Rick’s top, forming a make-shift ring. Rick stared at it for a moment, knowing without a doubt that he’d put it there.

“You said that if there was ever going to be a guy, I’d be the one for you,” Kieren explained.

“Oh. Well…” Rick’s gaze flickered to Kieren’s face only to find it still mostly hidden by the angle and the way his hair fell, then back to his hand. He wasn’t really surprised he’d said that. Kieren was closest and oldest friend. Rick trusted him more than he trusted anyone else in the world. “That is true though.”

Kieren fidgeted with the thread tried around his finger, smoothing over it. “I was trying to take it off.”

“Want me to get some scissors?” Rick offered. Kieren just shook his head.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Rick waited for him to elaborate, but it was another minute or two before Kieren spoke again.

“I kinda don’t want to take it off. I want…” Kieren trailed off, taking a deep shuddering intake of breath. “I know it was a joke. Of course it was a joke. But last night, the whole time I couldn’t help hoping… I hoped you’d see me as something more. I’ve always hoped…”

“You fancy me?”

“Yes.”

Rick frowned, feeling pretty sure he should feel a stronger reaction to Kieren’s admission, and that more than just one question should be coming to mind.

“Last night, was it your idea?”

Kieren shook his head slightly. “No.”

Rick paused, trying to think of a sensible reaction. Kieren really fancied him? Rick fell silent, wondering how slow he had to be to have missed something like that.

“How long?”

“A while,” came the nonspecific answer. Rick sighed softly, shifting to lift his arm and wrap it around Kieren, pulling him gently into a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Ren. I didn’t realise. I wouldn’t have done anything like that if I’d known.”

“I know,” Kieren whispered.

Rick suddenly stiffened, realising touching Kieren like this might be too much as well. “Shit, sorry, is this okay?”

“Are we still pretending?”

“Do you really want me to forget this conversation?”

“Yes.”

Rick’s heart sank at that. He wouldn’t be able to forget this, but if Kieren wanted him to pretend it had never happened, he would do it. “Then yeah, we’re still pretending.”

At his response, Kieren turned into Rick’s touch, burying his face in Rick’s neck and holding onto him tightly.

“I’m so sorry Rick. I didn’t…”

Rick brought his other hand up and held Kieren’s head, gently smoothing over his hair. He knew Kieren didn’t mean for any of this to have happened - of course he didn't. Rick didn’t either. It’s just that he hadn’t known, and now that he did, he had no idea how to react or how to help.

“I really don’t remember what happened,” Rick admitted regretfully.

“Do you want to know?”

“Go on then.”

“It was kinda fun,” Kieren explained, his voice slightly muffled by Rick’s top. “At the time I didn’t think how I felt mattered. It was just a laugh. We just wanted to mess people around. It was kinda funny seeing the first few comments. I think you nearly pissed yourself.” Rick could hear a hint of a smile in Kieren’s voice at that. “Then we were a bit confused by how seriously people were taking it. It was two am. I guess we thought people would realise we were drunk. And then you said something like ‘imagine if we did this for real’. I pointed out we didn’t have rings or anything, so you ruined your stupid top and gave me this.”

Kieren shifted and showed him the makeshift ring again, and Rick tried to see the funny side.

“It is a masterpiece.”

Kieren snorted in laughter, falling silent for a moment. “And then we argued for a while about if we’d argue, and what about, if we were a couple.”

“I hope I said ‘who gets the last pack of ready salted in the multipack’.”

Kieren gave a small laugh again. “Something like that.”

“Hey, Ren, did I kiss you?” Rick suddenly wondered.

“Uh, no,” Kieren replied, the lightness from a moment ago gone from his voice.

“Did you want me to?”

Kieren’s weight sagged a little more against Rick. “I’ve always wanted you to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m being a total dick, aren’t I?” Rick apologised, tightening his arm around Kieren a little.

“It’s okay, I think we’re both too hungover for this right now.” Kieren dismissed.

“Want another pretend-we’re-intoxicated talk later?” he offered.

Kieren shook his head. “No.”

“Okay. If you change your mind though…”

“I won’t,” Kieren insisted, pulling away. Rick let him go. “I never wanted you to know, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Don’t be sorry,” Rick insisted. It wasn’t as if Kieren chose to like him that was, was it? Of the two of them, Rick should be the one apologising for not knowing his friend as well as he should.

“I still am,” Kieren sighed. “Can we just forget this now please?”

Kieren finally looked directly at Rick from beneath long eyelashes, and Rick suddenly found himself struggling with what he wanted. If this moment between them was going to be sealed away and forgotten, why couldn’t he reach out and give Kieren what he knew his friend wanted? Just one kiss. Kieren looked so despondent and alone, and so tired and hungover. Rick wanted him to forget that for a moment.

Only it would be selfish; it would be to satisfy Rick’s own curiosity. Even if it made Kieren feel better for a short while, it wouldn’t in the long term. It wasn’t as if they were actually going to forget this – they were just going to pretend to forget. Rick could perhaps leave behind a moment of experimenting, but Kieren wouldn’t be able to. As he considered his best friend, Rick knew that he couldn’t do something like this when it would be hidden away and he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences but Kieren would. That just wasn’t fair.

With a sigh and slight shake of his head, Rick pushed the thoughts away and reached for his glass of water.

“Yeah, okay. I was going to get another hour or two of sleep,” he said, focusing on his original intention when he’d come to see what Kieren was up to. “Fancy it?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Kieren said, sounding deflated.

“You can have my bed. I’m fine on the sofa.” It was sort of true. Rick would rather have his bed, but as he’d woke up on the three-seater and Kieren had been on the two, he figured it was only fair.

“Oh, thanks,” Kieren said, resting his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

“Want me to get anything for you?”

Kieren shook his head slightly.

“Your phone?” Rick suggested, knowing Kieren had left it on the seat.

“It’s okay,” Kieren insisted. There didn’t seem to be anything left to say, and Kieren kept his eyes closed, so Rick slowly got to his feet.

“Kick me awake whenever,” he said as he opened the door to go.

“’kay,” Kieren agreed. “See you in a bit.”

With that, Rick left, walking slowly back to the living room. He walked past the sofa Kieren had been on, and tugged the blanket from it. Kieren’s phone fell with a thud to the floor, and Rick huffed at it, but picked it up. The lock screen was illuminated, showing three missed calls from Jem. Rick set the phone carefully on the arm of the sofa and crawled onto his own, under the blanket. He then reached for his own mobile, deleted another few notifications, and selected Jem’s number from his contacts. She answered after the second ring.

“Rick! What the hell? Is Kier okay?”

Rick pulled the phone away from his ear, jarred by the volume. He turned it down before tentatively moving it closer again.

“Hey Jem,” he said, realising how exhausted he sounded. “Ren’s okay, just sleeping.” Well, he would be soon, Rick hoped. He could hear the water running in the bathroom.

“I’ve been trying to call him for ages. Is he alright?”

“Yeah, we’re good, don’t worry. Just had a few drinks last night.”

 “To celebrate?”

“Uh…”

“You’re not actually together, are you?”

Jem’s voice fell, the tone turning accusing. Rick hated the way it stung. It suddenly occurred to him that Jem knew exactly what her brother felt for him.

“Does everyone know?”

“Know what?”

Rick was sure she knew what he meant, but was going to torture him for as long as she possibly could.

“That he likes me?”

Jem huffed in annoyance. “No, but most people take one look at you two and assume you’re a couple. You seem to be the only person who doesn’t get it.”

Rick closed his eyes, falling silent for a minute.

“Rick?”

“Still alive.”

“Why do you two even say that?”

Rick didn’t answer her. People thinking the two of them were a couple didn’t seem as awful as the fact he’d missed something so important about his best friend.

“Rick?”

“I fucked up.”

Jem gave a short burst of humourless laughter, clearly agreeing. “You got that right. What were you even thinking?”

“I don’t actually remember – that it would be funny, I guess. We didn’t think people would take it seriously. Jem, I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known. Please believe me.”

It was Jem’s turn to fall silent for a moment. Rick waited tensely, hoping for even a tiny bit of compassion. Jem’s tone and remarks were cutting right through him, and she had to know that. She was angry. She had every right to be, he supposed.

“I know,” she said eventually, her tone softening with a sigh. “You really fucked up though. How’s Kier?”

“Hungover. He went to lie down in my room.”

“You on your own in the living room?”

“Yeah.”

“Rick, how much do you care about him?”

It wasn’t really what he’d expected her to ask, but Jem deserved an honest answer, so Rick gave one. “More than anything else in the world.”

“Even more than Manchester United?”

“Of course.”

“Even more than your other friends?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Even more than your mum?”

Rick hesitated, guilt hitting him. He’d wanted to say ‘yes’.

“I don’t think most people have friends they care about as much or more than they care about their parents,” Jem said gently, as if understanding the reason for his silence. “I certainly don’t. I love my friends, but I’d pick my family over everyone else, hands down. But Kieren… I think he’d have a hard time picking between you and his family too. He really cares about you.”

Rick wasn’t sure if she was trying to make a point. “What are you saying?”

“That you mean a lot to each other. It’s just that part of that, for Kier, is a bit… different. He’s probably scared he’s going to lose you as a friend now that you know how he feels.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Rick said adamantly.

“Does he know that?”

Rick would hope Kieren did, but Jem made him wonder. “He wouldn’t really think that I’d stop being his friend?”

“Dunno, but you found out how he feels and it’s not like you reciprocate, is it?”

“No,” Rick said, feeling bad about the fact. Other than those few moments in which he’d though about kissing Kieren to cheer him up, he hadn’t considered what he felt in return, because he knew there wasn’t really anything there – he certainly didn’t fancy Kieren in the way he’d been interested in girls.

“I can hear you thinking,” Jem said.

“No you can’t,” Rick argued. He sighed in resignation. “What the hell do I do?”

“I dunno – whatever you want,” Jem said rather unhelpfully. “Just try not to be too weird about it. It’s gonna really, really suck for him. You’re gonna have to sort that facebook shit out and tell people the whole thing was a joke.”

“I think the best way to do that is to laugh at them for taking a something-am post seriously,” Rick decided. “Your parents don’t know do they?”

“About the engagement thing? Don’t think so.”

“Do they know Kieren fancies me?”

Jem laughed again. “My god, you have no idea do you?”

“So they know?”

“Of course,” Jem said as if it were completely obvious. “I remember when you dated that Vicky girl. Kier was heartbroken for weeks. Mum made lamb every other meal, I was sick of the sight of it.”

When he’d dated Vicky? That had been, what, six years ago? He’d been sixteen, and Kieren had just turned fifteen. That long?

“How did I not know?” Rick asked, completely bewildered. He didn’t understand how he could have missed something like that for so long.

“It’s not like he went round telling everyone,” Jem said, sounding like she was shrugging. “I think he was scared of what might happen if you found out, and now… maybe he never wanted you to find out, I dunno.”

Well Kieren had said as much to him, but Rick wasn’t going tell anyone what they’d talked about, not even Jem. “Why wouldn’t he want me to know?” he asked instead.

“Sometimes it’s better not to have an answer than to be rejected.”

Rick supposed Jem was right. He’d never really had a crush on anyone; sure, he’d fancied one or two girls, but it had never been anything deeper than ‘she looks pretty’. He knew that being told ‘no’ when you wanted something sucked, but Rick hadn’t felt that about another person. Well, unless his dad trying to stop him hanging out with Kieren during high school counted, which… maybe it did. Rick didn’t think it would come anywhere close to what Kieren might have felt – or still feel – but Rick had been disheartened and despondent back then. All he’d cared about was getting to spend time with Kieren. He’d missed him. He always missed him when they were apart. Kieren was the constant in his life that Rick couldn’t imagine being without.

“You still there?” Jem asked, provoking Rick out of his silence.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, tired.”

“That’s your own fault,” she said with a hint of schadenfreude. “Anyway, I’m hungry. Gonna go grab an early lunch.”

“Oh, okay,” Rick agreed, realising he was struggling to keep he conversation going. “Um, on the off-chance anyone says anything about the engagement thing can you just, I dunno, laugh at them or something? We were drunk.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jem agreed with a hint of reluctance. “But you need to tell Kier to call me when he wakes up.”

“I will,” Rick promised.

“Thanks,” Jem said. “And remember – be nice to Kier.”

“I’m always nice to him, you know that.”

“I know. Take care, okay?”

“You too.”

And then she was gone. Rick slowly lowered the phone, his other hand tugging the blanket up as he tried to think. He couldn’t. Things seemed a little too disjointed. He was tired. He wanted to sleep. Maybe things would make more sense when he woke up.

Only, he couldn’t sleep. Rick certainly felt tired enough, but his mind was still stuck on the conversations he’d just had. He felt like he’d missed a step and fallen. Was he the only person who hadn’t realised Kieren liked him? Rick remembered his mum’s response when he’d said the two of them weren’t together: disappointment. She’d not only thought they might be a couple, but she was okay with it. What was it people saw when they looked at the two of them that gave the impression they were more than just really good friend? Obviously there was enough there for people to think an engagement was plausible. That or ninety percent of people were in on a joke of their own, which didn’t seem likely.

Rick grabbed his phone again and opened facebook, using one of the notifications to take him to the post. He scrolled up through the comments – most congratulating them, two asking if they were serious, a few proclaiming ‘I knew it!’, and one from one of Kieren’s friends with a stupid amount of hearts and a proclamation of how ecstatic the news made them – until he found Kieren’s, right at the top beneath his own. ‘ _I love you too <3_’. How awful was Kieren going to feel when they said it was just a joke? So many people thought they were a couple already, and setting them straight would no doubt break Kieren’s heart. Rick didn’t want to do that. But he had to.

He’d wait, he decided. Doing the post now, on his own, seemed wrong somehow. Besides, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say, although he knew whatever it was a lot of people were going to be annoyed. Rick didn’t want Kieren to wake up to that.

The screen on his phone dimmed, and realising just how long he’d spent staring vacantly at Kieren’s message,  Rick let it fade to black. This wasn’t helping. He put his phone down again; he needed to sleep.

But when Rick pulled the blanket up over his head, he realised it smelled faintly of Kieren. It was just the softest trace, hidden beneath the smell of fabric softener Rick used, but it made Rick hug the blanket to him, feeling sorry for his best friend. How alone must Kieren feel right now? Rick wondered if he was still awake, but going through to the bedroom might disturb him. And besides, what was Rick going to say? That he felt kinda shit too, and really wanted to curl up with Kieren because that would make them both feel better? Well, he supposed he could say that, but what would Kieren read into it? How much would it hurt for Rick to be so close, but only ever as a friend? Even in the moments he thought about doing something beyond friendship – like the one in the bathroom – Rick couldn’t bridge the gap. What would happen if he reached out to try something and didn’t like it? He would just be using Kieren and end up hurting him even more.

Maybe he should give Kieren the choice, though. This involved both of them. Perhaps a minute or two of closeness would be enough for Kieren. Rick doubted it, but maybe to Kieren it would be better than nothing. Perhaps Rick wouldn’t mind it either. For a moment he wondered what it would be like if he found himself wanting more. Where would that even lead? Most people thought they were together anyway, and they didn’t seem to care or think it was a bad thing. It certainly wouldn't be the end of the world.

Rick reached for his phone again, vowing that after this he was going to fling the thing across the room and having nothing to do with it for at least a week. He dialled the number automatically and then closed his eyes, hoping for the voice he wanted to hear. He had to fight back a groan of frustration when his dad answered.

“Hello?” came the abrupt voice.

“Hey dad,” Rick said with forced cheer. “Uh, is mum around? Can’t find my Giggs top, think I might have left it in the laundry basket or something when I last visited.”

His dad would have nothing to do with household chores if he could avoid it. Predictably, Rick heard his dad muttering to his mum, who must have been in the room with him, explaining what Rick wanted. His dad didn’t even say ‘bye’ before handing the phone over.

“Hey love, you okay?” his mum asked.

“Yeah, good thanks mum,” Rick said, getting the pleasantries out the way. “Uh, I just wanted to ask you something. Dad still in the room?”

“No, he’s gone back to the TV. I’m just going upstairs. What is it?”

“It was just about earlier. I was just wondering – would you be, uh, disappointed if Kieren and I were actually together?”

“No, of course not,” his mum said, sounding as if she couldn’t understand why Rick even had to ask.

“And dad?”

Rick’s mum fell silent. He could hear her breathing steadily while she considered her response.

“Not everything you do will please everyone,” she said at length. “But you shouldn’t let that stop you if there’s something you want that will make you happy.”

“He’d kill me, wouldn’t he?” Rick confirmed.

“He’d get over if eventually,” his mum said. “And even if he didn’t, you’ve always got me. I’m always on your side, Rick, please remember that.”

“I do, mum. Thanks.”

“So, are you two…?”

“No. I was just… curious.” Rick knew she saw right through it, just as she’d known he wasn’t looking for his top.

“Oh. Uh, I’m just in your room, did you want me to do anything with this box of CDs?”

“I was going to sort through them next time I came.”

“Are you coming this week?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, well, I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah. Uh, I’m gonna go now, get stuff done.”

“Okay love. Just remember what I said. Your dad does try, even if he doesn’t always get it right. You shouldn’t let what he thinks get in the way of what you want.”

“I’ll remember, thanks mum. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Rick didn’t fling his phone; he just hung up and then turned it off. His mum had only told him what he’d already known, but hearing it had somehow helped. He knew pretty much where he stood. If Rick reached out and tested the line between friendship and something more, it probably wouldn’t end well. Either Rick would hate it and pull back, leaving Kieren isolated and alone, or Rick would be okay with it, and end up losing his dad. Was Kieren worth that? Rick almost laughed with how easily the answer came – of course Kieren was worth it, even as just a friend. It was just how Rick would react himself that he couldn’t guess, because he’d never considered anything like this before. But he realised that all that mattered was what the two of them wanted, no one else.

Pushing the blanket off, Rick got to his feet, finding himself walking to the bedroom with purpose. He had to start somewhere. He wasn’t going to do anything stupid, he told himself, he just wanted to be close to Kieren and see how it felt. It would make Kieren feel better too, he hoped. Rick was also aware of Jem’s warning that Kieren might think Rick would lose interest in him as a friend now that he knew how he felt, and Rick was determined not to let that happen, or to give Kieren any reason to think he didn’t want the two of them to stay friends.

The curtains in Rick’s bedroom weren’t completely shut, and light filtered into the room through the gaps in the heavy material. As he pushed the door open, Rick saw the jeans and jumper Kieren had discarded on the floor before climbing under the duvet. His friend was curled up in the foetal position at the edge of Rick’s double bed. He was awake, and his focus was on Rick the moment he entered the room.

“Mind if we share?” Rick asked, stepping into the room.

“Go for it,” Kieren replied weakly, seeming resigned and as if he'd perhaps been crying. Rick walked slowly round to the other side of the bed and slid beneath the covers. He didn’t quite feel calm, but being closer to Kieren certainly helped with… whatever this was.

“Do you want me to go through to the living room?”

“What?” Rick asked, surprised at Kieren’s question. “No, of course not. Well, you can if you want, but I think I’d follow you.”

“Why?”

Rick settled on his side to face Kieren, who slowly turned and adopted a similar position, regarding Rick with confusion..

“It’s nice being close to you.”

Kieren looked taken aback, his eyes widening at Rick’s words. Rick gave a soft laugh, lifting his arm in invitation.

“Wanna come closer?”

Despite seeming uncertain of what was going on, Kieren shifted, turning again as he pressed against Rick, his back flush against Rick’s front. Rick found his hand being taken and firmly held close to Kieren’s chest.

“Oh, Jem tried to call you, by the way,” he said, remembering his obligation to tell Kieren.

“Did you answer?”

“I called her back on my phone.”

“What did she say?”

Rick hesitated a moment, giving a slight shrug. Like this they couldn’t see each other as they spoke, so he had no idea if he’d imagined the hint of dread he heard in Kieren’s voice or not.

“She asked if it was true. She was kinda annoyed at me for the whole thing, which I suppose I deserved.”

“Did she say anything else?”

Rick sometimes wished he could lie to Kieren. “To tell you to call her back. She also told me that you were pretty upset back when I was dating Vicky.”

Kieren tensed, inhaling sharply and reacting by trying to shift away. Rick locked his arm, holding Kieren close.

“Hey, it’s okay!” he insisted, waiting for Kieren to calm a little, which he didn’t at first. “It’s okay Ren.”

Slowly, Kieren relaxed, but he didn’t say anything. His breathing quickly evened out, and if Rick didn’t know any better he might have guessed Kieren was falling asleep. He wasn’t, though, so after it became apparent he was going to remain silent, Rick tried to explain himself a little better.

“You know, the thought of us being more than just friends doesn’t really bother me,” he stated matter-of-factly. “What does is the thought that I might end up really hurting you.”

“Hurting me?” Kieren echoed, sounding a little confused.

“Well I haven’t really thought any of this through,” Rick explained. “All I know is that I don’t want to lose you. You’re my best mate. Being more than that… well, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if it worked, but what if it didn’t, you know? I don’t want to put you through that.”

Kieren had stiffened again, this time more subtly, and when he shifted, it was to half turn in Rick’s arms and look hopefully at him. “But you’d want to try?”

“I don’t know,” Rick said honestly, aware of the fact he’d just set Kieren up for a fall. “I wouldn’t know where to start. I’d never thought about us as anything more than friends before today. What would happen if we tried it but I didn’t like you the way you like me? Where would that leave us?”

Rick didn’t miss the way Kieren’s heartrate had quickened, his breathing coming a little faster. He could feel just how much Kieren wanted this, and Rick felt out of his depth. He was beginning to think he should have just stayed in the living room; this wasn’t going to end well.

“We’d still be friends.” Kieren was frowning slightly. “Wouldn’t we?”

Rick nodded. “Of course. Unless you’re going somewhere?”

“No, not unless you kick me out.”

“I’d never do that.”

Kieren was silent for a moment, before speaking softly. “You might if you knew just what I thought about you.”

“I doubt that,” Rick said firmly.

He’d expected Kieren to reply, but instead of speaking, Kieren took Rick’s hand and guided it lower. Rick realised what was happening a split second too late, just as his hand was pressed firmly against the warm, unmistakable swell in Kieren’s boxers. He jerked his hand back sharply, staring at Kieren, stunned. Kieren looked hurt, but defiant, a fierce blush quickly heating his cheeks.

“Jesus, Ren,” he breathed, still trying to register what Kieren had done. He supposed this was a test, to see if he’d push Kieren away or not. Of course, knowing Kieren fancied him implied such things, which Rick hadn’t really had time to contemplate, but to have it so forcefully brought to his attention was a shock. “What did you do that for?”

“I think it’s only fair that you know exactly what I mean when I say I like you.”

Rick was still stunned. Kieren hadn’t needed to do that. The ghost of feeling still burnt Rick’s palm, and he knew Kieren expected him to react. For a moment he just stared, and then eventually letting out a slow breath, his gaze dipping as he let his hand brush down over Kieren’s body, curiosity taking hold. Rick’s own heartrate spiked at his boldness, and then at the way Kieren reacted to his touch. As he palmed Kieren’s erection, feeling it stiffen even further, Rick took in the way Kieren’s eyes fluttered closed, his mouth parting and cheeks flushing an even deeper red under Rick’s touch. He found himself thinking that Kieren looked beautiful like this.

“I do this to you?” he asked softly.

Kieren just nodded, the small sound that escaped him having nothing to do with his answer. His hand pressed on Rick’s, wanting more pressure. Rick didn’t pull away, but nor did he really give it. The whole thing felt strange. It was the way Kieren reacted to him that he found enthralling.

“Rick,” Kieren pleaded. Rick wasn’t quite sure what for, but when Kieren shifted his hips and rocked against Rick’s hand, he pulled away again.

“Ren, I can’t,” he said apologetically. It was far too much at once. He needed the control back, and a chance to figure out what had just happened, as well as why his own body had started to react – he hadn’t expected it to do that at all.

Kieren looked despondent. His face was still flushed, but he was clearly unhappy. “I’m sorry,” he said, sounding resigned. Rick couldn’t help pulling him into a fierce hug, not really thinking about how their bodies would fit together, or what Kieren might notice.

“It’s okay,” he said gently. “It’s really okay. We can do this later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kieren echoed weakly. After a few moments, he relaxed in Rick’s arms. “Did you sort the post out?”

“Uh, no,” Rick admitted, pulling back a little so he could look at Ren without letting go. “Idiots should check the time it was made.”

Kieren gave a small smile at that, and Rick copied it, taking in the way Kieren’s face lit up. He didn’t say anything more, he just found Kieren’s left hand beneath the covers and took it in his own, tracing over Kieren’s fingers and feeling for the thread he’d tied around the ring finger last night. Only, it wasn’t there. Rick felt a stab of disappointment.

“Where did it go?”

“I took it off.”

Rick remembered how Kieren had admitted to not wanting to remove the makeshift ring. He’d obviously managed to take it off some time after their conversation.

“It suited you,” Rick said, rather stupidly. Thankfully, Kieren gave a short laugh.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I’m tired,” Rick countered. Kieren considered him with another small smile.

“Yeah, okay, that too.”

“Aren’t you?” Rick asked. “Or do you need to, uh…”

He still remembered the way Kieren had felt beneath his hand. Kieren was shaking his head slightly though.

“Too tired, too hungover. I'll deal with it later,” he explained, shifting a little to get comfortable. Kieren looked up at Rick with sleepy brown eyes. “Rick? Are you okay sleeping like this?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Very.”

“Okay then. Sleep well.”

“You too,” Kieren said with a lazy smile, curling into Rick a little more. Rick let him, and for a moment considered giving him a kiss. He decided against it, though, as it was a spur of the moment idea, and would probably keep Kieren awake for another hour or so. Besides, Rick didn’t know if Kieren had actually been sick or not.

“I’m sorry for putting your hand on my dick,” Kieren murmured, sounding drunk with fatigue. Rick laughed softly, squeezing the hand still in his.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for lacing your chocolate spread with marmite.”

Kieren chucked slightly, his eyes staying closed but lips curling up in a smile as he clearly recalled the incident.

Rick didn’t say anything else. He let Kieren fall asleep, and quickly following him a few minutes later.


End file.
